


Does it matter?

by personalfreakshow



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Chaptered, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Multi, Roommates, boarding au, drawing!dan, kind of, long fic, maybe smut later, youtube!phil
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-21
Updated: 2016-03-30
Packaged: 2018-05-28 03:38:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6313888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/personalfreakshow/pseuds/personalfreakshow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil does YouTube, and is 17. He has been on this School for two years, but he has never had a roommate. Dan has just turned 16, loves to draw and is very quiet. At least that is what Phil thinks until Dan gets into a huge fight, and the two new roommates finally start talking to each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1.

**Author's Note:**

> I have read so many adorable fics lately, especially High-School or College AUs. (My favorite is, to be completely honest, First Impressions by Ablissa). So I figured that I should try something like that myself. I’ll try not to make it like all the other ones out there, but it is my first longer fic so don’t judge please. I guess it will be at least 12 chapters… I hope it will. I hope I will finish it haha.

Phil is lying on the bed, the warmth of his laptop on his stomach, spreading through his whole body, the tea is helping a bit too. He’s comfy. He hasn’t bothered to brush his hair or anything like that yet today, and it is nearly 1pm. Sundays are amazing. Sundays he spends drinking his favourite drinks, eating his favourite things and editing a new video. On Sundays, he plans and prepares for his classes the next day, or at least that’s what he should. That’s just what you do on Sundays. On Sundays you can stay in bed and just skip breakfast. He has had a cup of tea, some biscuits and is editing a video, and nothing could possibly go wrong on a Sunday right? Wrong. He just can’t take his mind off the fact that either today, or the next week, there will be someone new in this room.

The empty bed at the other side of the room is so annoying to him, empty and cold and he fails at ignoring it. It has been there ever since he arrived after the holidays for the new school-year. Who is this person? What will they be like? What is he even hoping for? He doesn’t know his new roommate’s age. He doesn’t know the name. How old could he be? Maybe younger… Probably.

He was just attempting to concentrate on that video when there is a sudden knock on the door that scares the hell out of him. Maybe he should have showered. He should have showered. Luckily the person at the door was not in fact a new boy, but one of the teachers. She’s nice. “Daniel will arrive in two hours, luv” The older, short women told him with a concerned look inside of the room. _Daniel_. That was the first piece of information about the boy he had so far. “Um, yeah ok thanks” Phil just mumbles and decided that two hours is enough time to get showered, at least.

The shower is no place to hide thoughts, because now he is curious. Daniel. What type of person fits the name Daniel? Does it matter?

After he showers, it becomes clear how messy the room actually is. There are socks on the ground, a charger under the bed, which isn’t made, books stacked on the desk and then there’s that one chair everyone has, that is just there to hold any piece of clothing that appears during the day. And this room is not big; in fact, Phil thinks it is rather small: especially now that he isn’t any longer alone. He has to clean this up.

As he picks up one piece of clothing after the other and puts it where he wants, the room begins to feel a lot more comfortable. Actually, Phil doesn’t like to be in messy places, but if it’s his own mess he doesn’t really notice it even is messy. He really needs to change that before he gets a roommate in…like, twenty minutes.

Twenty minutes which go by far too quickly. The first thing he learns about ‘Daniel’ before he even knows his face is that he seems to be very punctual. Because at exactly 3pm there is a tiny, really quiet knock on the door. Is that guy shy? That wouldn’t be a problem, as long as he isn’t one of those people that don’t speak up at all. Maybe he’s just quiet.

Phil doesn’t have a lot of time to think about it, only two seconds or something, because now the handle is being pushed down slowly and Phil’s heart is speeding up a bit. Not a bit. It feels as though it is about to jump right out of his chest, and he hasn’t even seen the boy!

As the door opens, it reveals a tall boy, just a bit shorter than Phil himself. Dark clothes, ears pierced and eyes that grab all attention. He thinks he must have been staring, or that’s what it feels like, when the boy give him a small smile and a nod, and-   
“Hi, I’m Dan.”


	2. Chapter 2.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that they look quite a bit like now, or perhaps 2014 Phan. You know that video Dan made where he wears the white shirt And Red tie and plays multiple roles? I can’t remember the name, but that’s what he looks like, just his hair is a tiny bit longer. Anyways, thank you so much for the Kudos on the last chapter, it means a lot! I will make them a bit longer now… they are painfully short. AAANYWAAAYS, Enjoy:

At 5pm, ‘Dan’ has fully unpacked and, apart from his name, Phil still knows nothing about him. He is starting to think that Dan really is just quiet, but there is something about him that Phil just can’t wrap his finger around.

As he is now sitting on his bed, again, he is watching the shorter boy place the last of his at least five dark coloured hoodies into the closet. He can get a better look at him now, from behind at least. Dan’s hair is brown, and straight, and cut in a similar way to his own, but like, the other way around. Phil isn’t sure if it’s straightened or naturally like this, because the job seems done so well. Dan is wearing dark jeans, black converse, and a black shirt that seems far too big on him, and has a white circle on it. He is about two inches shorter than Phil, but definitely not fully grown yet, and has silver Xs in his ears. He looks pale. Like, really pale. Vampire pale.

Phil feels like he’s staring and the only thing he managed to say until now was his name and “Welcome to Hell”, which didn’t sound as funny in real life as it had in his head, but Dan had weakly smiled anyway.

Dan is now eyeing the teapot in the corner in a way that said ‘why is there a _teapot_ in our room’ and Phil feels guilty for nearly laughing.  
“I really like tea. They let us have one ‘machine’ in our rooms, so I brought this.” Phil explains, without taking his eyes off of the green pot. “We can change it, if you don’t want-”  
“It’s cool. Tea’s cool.” Phil couldn’t finish his sentence as Dan interrupts him. Definitely not shy, he observes. Was the boy trying to shut him up? Who is he?

Puzzled, and trying to ignore his new roommate, Phil gets ready for dinner. He pulls out a pale red shirt, and a hooded jacket, and disappears into a bathroom for a moment. The pair of jeans he is wearing seems fine enough. This isn’t how he imagined his first day with Dan. In fact, this isn’t how he imagined Dan either, as a person.

As they make their way down to the large dining room, Dan doesn’t talk, and Phil doesn’t try to force him either. Maybe his roommate is just tired after a long drive or something… even if so; he doesn’t think Dan likes him a lot.

Dan eats in quiet, concentrating on the food, as if he would die if there was a single crumb on anything but the plate. The chicken tastes dry, the potatoes are cold by the time Phil gets to them, and the salad is something he never even bothered to try in the time he was here. He just sits, eats, and looks at Dan expectantly, wondering how the hell this is ever supposed to work out. Soon two other students come to sit with them. One of them is Chris, who is in Phil’s year, but they have never talked much. He doesn’t know the other. He guesses he’s about Dan’s age. What is Dan’s age even? He looks young, like 15, but he’s probably only one year below him so he has to be at least 16 by now. He doesn’t even know if he’s a year- of course he is.

“So, is that lad your new roomie?” Chris asks, and Phil smiles at his accent.  
“Yeah, that’s Dan.” Phil answers through a mouth full of chicken. He looks at the other guy, who has a tremendous lot of curly hair.  
“I’m PJ!” the younger boy exclaims cheerfully. “I got here yesterday, I’m sharing with some guy called Tom, but I met Chris a year ago, so I decided to stick to him for now.” _Well he’s a lot more talkative than my new roommate_ Phil thinks and laughs.  
“That’s great!” Phil says, grinning. He can see that the two know each other; they seem very confident in front of one another and he can practically feel the trust between them. They must be good friends, despite only having met last year.

He catches himself wondering if Dan will ever be his friend, or something like it, because up until now, he isn’t too sure about that. It’s a shame really. He realises, that actually there’s an empty feeling inside him; that he is disappointed in the person he has to live with from now on.

The first night isn’t much better. Dan stays up for ages on his phone, and Phil just can’t sleep if there’s a light, and soon he has to accept that it seems to be the other way around for Dan. He’s struggling to dislike someone who is _afraid of the dark_. How can he? It’s like a little kid that he has to take care of; even if, as he found out at dinner, Dan is really only one year younger than him.

And, he has to admit, that Dan looks a lot like a small kid when he is sleeping. On second thought, why is he looking at Dan sleeping? Phil twists and turns for another two hours before he can finally, somehow, fall asleep. It really isn’t fair, that he can’t sleep just so his roommate can. This can’t go on for the next two or three years.

When he next wakes from a dreamless sleep, Phil feels exhausted and simply groans. This just cannot be how he has to live from now on. Then he remembers: It’s Monday; the shittiest day of the entire week. Well at least he can start it off with creative writing in a double English-lesson. Right after breakfast, or as he thinks it should be, right after a cup of tea.

He gets up, taking his time, and heads right over to his little green tea-pot to fill it, and heat it up. Just as he attempts to close the pot, he hears a groan from behind him. “I’ll have some too.” It isn’t even a question, or a kind tone, it’s more of an order. Phil decides to just shrug it off, and fill more water into the kettle. _I hope he isn’t always like that…_ he thinks, before he heads into the bathroom to brush his teeth. The day is perfectly planned: tea, then writing, then the rest of Monday. Ok maybe it isn’t planned, but Phil really couldn’t care less. He just hopes Dan knows where to go, so he doesn’t have to spend even more time with him.

At least he has solved the secret of Dan’s hair, which looks like a birds nest right now.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok now that I got those two done, and posted, I feel like this is where the story really takes off properly with their first joint day, where Phil gets to know Dan a bit more and stuff like that. And well, I won’t spoil, but this is where the actual plot will start (at the end) Also, thanks for all the kudos! Other stories might get more, but I would probably sit here and thank you guys if there was only a single one haha. Also ignore the Ages please, it is just an AU after all.

It’s not that he minds it or something. He doesn’t really care, actually, but he didn’t expect it. Phil was so sure Dan was a year below him. So sure, he didn’t even think it was possible for them to come across each other in classes. Apparently he was wrong. PJ might be only two months younger than Dan, so could it be that Dan is actually in Phil’s year?

It didn’t matter now. Right there at the door, looking a bit shy is Dan. He’s scanning the classroom, and his eyes catch on Phil. Is that relief? Maybe that’s because he’s the only person in here he knows. Mr Collins, their teacher, turns and greats the boy with a warm smile. “This is Daniel“, Dan cringes as the man says his proper first name, “He will be joining our form this year, so be nice to him!”

As Dan still looks lost, Mr Collins points him towards a free seat in the front. He continues with the register, checking everyone is there and no one is missing, and lets his class of 18 people go.

If Dan is in his form, that means he is also in his English class. And if Dan is in his English class, that means he has to sit somewhere. Phil knows there is only one free seat in that room, right next to him. The least he can do is be nice to the boy.

Phil hurries a bit to reach him, and pokes the shorter boy into his left shoulder.  
“Ouch.” It sounds rather sarcastic.   
“I just figured you might want someone to show you the way…” Phil tries, and it sounds painfully stupid.   
“Yeah, ok.”  
“I didn’t know you were in my year?” Was it that important to start a conversation? It does seem a bit helpless.   
“Well, I didn’t either, or I might have told you” Dan says and Phil realises he hasn’t even though of that. He feels dumb.   
“Oh” is all he manages to say before they reach their first class and Phil silently shows Dan the way.

Phil has to admit, that the uniform looks nice on Dan. He used to think the white shirts and red ties were absolutely horrific, but maybe they just don’t suit him. Maybe a blue tie would suit him better? He also realises that he hasn’t seen Dan in anything other than black and dark-blue yet, so maybe it’s just the contrast.

The task they get is to describe their utopia. Their own perfect world, just the way they imagine it. They’re supposed to write around 600 words, and draw a picture. It sounds easy, but what most people don’t know yet is that they probably have to write an essay about it afterwards. The first part is something Phil really likes. Writing in general; drawing, however, not so much. He starts the task immediately, and really enjoys it, but he can’t help but realise that Dan doesn’t seem to be working at all. When Phil looks over, Dan has a spare sheet of paper next to his book, and is doodling on it. In his book, there is about one small paragraph and- the doodles look really nice. Nothing specific really, there are just patterns and eyes, and noses. Sketches that Phil really likes.

Dan looks up at him, and Phil nearly feels guilty. Why?   
“They look… really nice!” he whispers, and is taken aback when Dan just shrugs. How can you just shrug it off? Are they nothing to Dan? The other boy just continues working, and drawing. Well... mainly drawing, and Phil watches him. Dan draws more eyes and noses and mouths, and finally a full face, of a girl, that is crying. Wondering if she is a real person, and why she is crying, Phil finally manages to finish his writing and tries to draw what he has created. He really isn’t the best person when it comes to painting, or sketching, but he tries his best until he makes something that he doesn’t hate.

He is about to pack away, when his gaze falls on Dan’s picture. The words he has written are nowhere near 600 words, but the picture is amazing. Phil thinks his classmate might actually get an acceptable grade, just for the drawing. That’s one new thing he now knows about Dan.

For the rest of the day, the crying girl haunts Phil’s head, and he doesn’t see Dan again. Not even in History, where they should have been in the same room once again. Dan isn’t there. Trying to think of where the hell he could be, Phil struggles to concentrate. Why is it even so important to him? It’ not like Dan is particularly nice to him and still, Phil kind of feels responsible.

The next thing he hears of Dan, long before he sees him, is a yell. He is heading towards the dorms, when he hears someone yell something very loudly. Next, there is a crash that is so loud, that Phil can feel it in his bones. He has to go there. The first thing he sees is Dan against a wall, pushing a much bigger boy off of him. Phil watches Dan swing his fist at the other, hitting him just over the right eye, and kicking him in the stomach.

If Phil thought Dan was quiet, and perhaps tired, then he was terribly wrong. But he isn’t standing a chance. The other boy is now pushing him to the ground and is about to kick him, but Phil can’t take that. He couldn’t live with himself if he continued watching, without doing anything; he breaks into something remotely close to a run, and shoves the boy away from his roommate.   
“What the hell is going on?!” he yells, more at Dan than the other, but his roommate just looks away.   
“Get out of my way.” The other boy growls, he is probably a year older than Phil and… huge. Phil has seen him before actually, but he doesn’t quite have time to think about it. The boy wipes blood off his cheek with his sleeve, and is already stepping towards him again.

“No.” Phil retorts, crossing his arms. Where is he pulling this confidence from? “We’re leaving now, Dan.”   
He can’t remember hearing himself like that before. He just really wants to know who the hell this is, and what the hell is going on here and- Tom, he remembers his name, just shoved him backwards. Something hard hits him. Pain floods through Phil’s left arm almost instantly, but he can feel someone grabbing his other arm, and dragging him away, fast.

He soon finds himself with a bandage around his arm, near the wrist, at the nurse’s office. Dan is there too, holding a cooling-pack against his head, and a tissue under his nose. Phil notices that the boy is bleeding, and feels an unpleasant twist in his gut at the sight of blood. Maybe that’s why he fainted. He’s sure he must have fainted.

Dan still isn’t looking at him, but Phil can her him mutter something just audibly under his breath. It sounds like- “Thanks…” it sounds like it is hurting him to say it, but now Dan is facing him, and Phil can see that his roommate means it. This isn’t how he imagined talking to Dan for the first time… but it will do, he thinks.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaah I am beginning to enjoy this quite a lot myself! Thank you for those nice comments and kudos, and enjoy the next chapter.

Phil looks at Dan plainly. He’s a bit curious, and of course worried, why his roommate got into a fight in first place, and how he did it.   
“Can I ask you… about three questions?” He starts, trying to be calm, trying to hide that he is actually nervous.   
“Fine.” Apparently, Dan still doesn’t want to talk to him.   
“How do you know Tom, how did you piss him off, and why did you risk… this?” he asks, gesturing towards Dan’s icepack.

Dan rolls his eyes dramatically, and lets a huff of air out.   
“Tom is my cousin’s ex.” as if that explains anything. “After they broke up, my cousin was really sad, in fact, she still is. All I did was to ask him why he broke up with her, and he immediately freaked out.”   
Phil releases a breath, and finds he cannot remember holding it. He knows Tom is pain in the butt, but he didn’t think he would freak out that easily.   
“Couldn’t you have… walked away or something?” he tries, instantly regretting it due to the look on Dan’s face.   
“I like my cousin, a lot, and so no; I couldn’t just walk away after what he said.” Dan snaps, and suddenly his face changes and he looks in pain.

Does this mean he was the one to… start? Did Dan honestly challenge one of the most aggressive, and one of the oldest students of their school? Phil can’t believe that Dan has managed to do all that on his first day here, but then he notices that Dan is almost crying and pushes that away for a moment.

“Hey. Hey, Dan” he’s about as useful as a knife in a gun-fight, “Hey, what’s wrong, can I help you?” The boy shakes his head. Finding no better way to help him, he looks for more ice and cools the back of Dan’s neck. He read somewhere that it helps to stop nose-bleed. It does. After about five minutes, Dan is able to put the tissue away, and just sits in silence for a few moments.

“Can we just get back to our room?” the boy asks weakly after what feels like half an hour, but was probably just ten minutes.   
“Yeah, can you walk?” Phil asks. It is a stupid question isn’t it, but he feels like he really has to help him some way.   
“I think I can just about manage.” Dan says, and he’s almost laughing again.   
Phil can’t believe it; his always grumpy roommate is smiling at him. Well that’s a first.

 

On the way back to their dorm, Dan is swaying so much, that he looks like he’s about to collapse. _Forget personal space_ Phil thinks and steadies him quickly, before he can tumble sideways, and he gains a both thankful and annoyed look from Dan. At least the boy is back to his old self. Phil is actually feeling sorry for him now. Hey wondering if perhaps the girl he drew in English class, was his cousin. He actually thinks it’s quite possible, since Dan seemed to know who he was drawing, and not like he was making it up.

When they reach the room, he also notices that the paper with the crying girl is on top of Dan’s desk. He could just ask, right? Maybe he should do that another time, when Dan is recovered. He doesn’t wait for a request, he knows it’s coming, and makes two cups of tea. When he places one in front of Dan, he earns another weak smile, and returns it.

The warm cup feels nice against his palms, calming, and he wishes they had a tub in their bathroom, because he really feels like he needs a hot bath right now. He would easily fall asleep in it. Then he thinks, that Dan probably needs one even more. Phil can still see a bit of dry blood under his nose, from when Tom hit him, and he looks even paler than he did last night. How is that even possible? The tea seems to help.

When he checks the time, he realises it’s only half an hour till dinner. He also realises, that he isn’t in the slightest hungry.   
“Hey, Dan?” he asks instead, trying not to be annoying again. “Yeah?” the boy replies, and actually sounds kind for once. “Do you feel like dinner?” Phil mumbles. The blood is still there, and it is making Phil shiver for some reason. “  
Not really… I have biscuits for later.” Dan simply answers, and looks up from the cup of tea, that is empty now, but still in his hands. “Do you want some?”   
“Maybe later” Phil grins. Maybe his roommate isn’t too bad after all; at least he seems to care for others. His cousin means something to him, and the boy even offered him a biscuit just now, so how bad can it be?

When Dan disappears into the bathroom to shower, Phil gathers both mugs and makes some more tea. He doesn’t have any homework, or let’s say none for the next day, and is very glad about that. He decides he just won’t worry about a single thing tonight. Not after that stressful afternoon. The room is beginning to feel a bit more like home, finally.

After a while, both boys are sitting on the tiny sofa, in the tiny corner that is left of the room, which really isn’t big, snuggled in blankets. They somehow manages to sit far enough from each other to not touch, but Dan is thankfully sipping Phil’s tea, and Phil is nibbling on one of Dan’s biscuits. He can’t really imagine the evening to be much better, and he isn’t sad in the slightest that he missed dinner. They have Phil’s laptop between them, and its playing the very first episode of Supernatural, because they both agreed they haven’t seen it in far too long. It does seem like something that he could get used to, like, on a regular basis. Phil doesn’t think it would be that bad to have Dan as a friend in future, even if it will probably take a while to get there.

The only things Phil knows about Dan, are that he’s in his year, and likes to draw. Perhaps he could also count the thing about Dan’s cousin, whose name he doesn’t know, but that’s more or less Tom’s problem, not his.

Somehow he drifts into sleep without noticing, and for once, he actually sleeps well. Kind of. Until he wakes up at 3am, because suddenly it’s so quiet, and the sofa isn’t comfy, and all of it is just too much. As he looks around, he realises that his laptop is shut, and on his bed, and the lights are out. The only light is coming from one corner of the window, shining onto Dan’s sleepy face. He remembers that Dan apparently cannot sleep when it is all dark, that’s one more thing he knows about him. Phil feels a smile creep up again, and gets himself into his own bed for a few more hours.  
"Good night, Dan" he whispers, and closes his eyes.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there, thank you guys for liking and stuff and.. does anyone here actually read my notes? No? ok fine lal.

The next thing Phil feels is a relatively warm hand tugging at his shoulder. It’s only a light tug, but enough to wake him up. He blinks a bit at how bright the light is and- wait. When he usually gets up at 5:30am, the sun shouldn’t be this bright.  
“Phil. Wake up, it’s already 7:30, we overslept!” he doesn’t think he heard Dan this excited before, and is about to laugh; but then the meaning of his words set in.  
If it’s really 7:30, then he has exactly half an hour to get himself showered and dressed until he has to sit in a classroom, ready to start the day.  
Crap. He’ll be late.

He jolts up from the bed, and almost hits his head, and races to the bathroom to shower quickly. He pops back out for a moment to thank Dan, who is now straightening his hair in front of the tiny mirror on one of the walls. He’s never been late to class, and that won’t start now. But he has also never missed breakfast, and because he skipped dinner last night, he is now feeling like he’s going to starve.

After exactly twenty-five minutes, both boys are rushing out of the door. Dan is still trying to straighten his tie, and Phil is running hands through his hair, trying to make it look acceptable. Yet, neither can stop laughing.  
“This is your fault you know” Phil accuses Dan, but just starts giggling even more as they rush over the grounds to the main school-building.  
“How is this my fault?” Dan just asks pretending to be insulted, whilst grinning at Phil.  
“In two years here, I have not once been late for class. You’ve been here for two days, already missed half a day worth of lessons, and now we’ll be late!” he just cries out, shaking his head.

Both boys are still laughing when they reach their form just in time to tell their teacher that they’re in school. Mr Collins gives both of them a concerned look, but Phil knows the man isn’t serious. Actually, he has never seen Mr Collins serious; he has to smile at the thought of that. Most teachers in this school are total idiots, but their form-tutor is always nice and happy.

The day passes smoothly, until lunch, and Phil is starting to settle into the new school-year quite easily. He just hopes that Dan doesn’t get himself into more trouble, at least for a while. He can’t take that amount of stress on a daily-basis.

The dining-hall is full when he gets there, but he is delighted to see that Chris, PJ and Dan seem to have saved him a seat. He settles down next to them and greets the boys with a smile. Just because Chris and Phil haven’t talked a lot, that doesn’t mean they have never been friends. They would just sit together at one of the tables, usually with a few others, and would chat to the group, not to each other, but in a way, they did always hand around in the same circles. He wouldn’t consider Chris a friend, not yet at least, but Phil _is_ rather picky when it comes to who he calls his friends. You could probably hang around with him for a year, and he’d still be unsure.

The four of them talk about lessons, assignments, and what they have planned for the weekend. “It’s really unfair that you are all a year ahead of me” PJ complains, and Phil kind of agrees. It’s a shame, because PJ really seems to be a nice guy. “I thought I’d be in your year” Dan tries to calm him.  
“The lot of us could take a ride down to the cinema on the weekend, eh?” Chris suggests and Phil nods.  
“Sounds great, whose in?” so now he’s going to have plans for the weekend with people that he is surprisingly close to calling his friends, and he is usually not like this. He quite likes the idea of it.

 

When they’re done with the day, showered and had dinner, they decide to get back their room, where Phil continues to write his essay-homework. He senses that Dan is setting up their sofa-corner long before he sees it. He is just finishing the sentence on his essay, and slowly rises to walk towards the kettle to set them up with some tea.   
"Supernatural it is, then?” Dan asks, and Phil nods. He’s already looking forwards to it. He sets the two mugs down, one on Dan’s leg and one on his, and waits for the episode to load a bit.

The warmth of the tea against his hands, the light from the laptop, and the blankets add up to one feeling he can’t quite name. It feels like home.

They speed through about three episodes this time, might have been more, but just as they load number four, Phil notices that Dan is already falling asleep. Maybe he should let him, but Dan probably wouldn’t thank him in the morning. “Dan? Go to bed, will you?” he giggles, and Dan opens his eyes unwillingly and nods.

As Phil lies in bed, he just cannot sleep. He turns to his side, silently, and looks at Dan. The other boy is fast asleep, but he doesn’t seem to be dreaming very well. Moans and sobs sound ever so often, and Dan is twisting for side to side in his sleep, kicking the duvet and burying his face into the cushions. It hurts Phil just to look at him, and when, about half an hour later, Dan shoots up from his sleep with a yell, Phil gives up. He rolls out of his bed and stumbles towards Dan, silently sitting on the boy’s bed and hugging him. He doesn’t know what to say, and Dan doesn’t talk either. They just sit there, with Dan crying for what seems like forever, and then Phil feels himself drift to sleep.

He can’t bring himself to get up and lie in his own bed, and Dan is half asleep again already. He just doesn’t have the strength to get up now, it’s too late. To late… and with that he drops his head on Dan’s pillow and closes his eyes. He is gone within moments, and not soon after, Dan lies back down, and that’s how they stay.

The last thought that lingers in Phil’s head, is how awkward the situation will be in the morning, but he ignores it, and it slips away when he sleeps.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok I know this is crappy, but I needed to write something and I don’t even know… I just had to continue but I wasn't entirely sure how to and so this is my crappy chapter…

 

Much like Phil expected, it is awkward. He is the first to wake up, and his eyes fall onto Dan who is still sleeping. Wednesdays start with double-sport, and that is the one lesson Phil truly hates. He has never managed to get anything over a C grade in sport, and he gave up trying completely about a year ago. Sport and Phil just doesn’t work in the same sentence.

He shifts, realising that he slept on top of the covers the whole night, and that his feet are cold. Dan grumbles next to him, and Phil tries to slide off of the bed before the boy wakes up completely. Not that it will change the fact he slept there, but waking up with Phil already in the bathroom is better than waking up with Phil right next to him, right? Phil slips into the bathroom, splashed water onto his face and gets dressed into the sport uniform. Why bother wearing his normal clothes if he needs to change them in a few moments anyway?

When he gets out, Dan is sitting upright on his bed and Phil freezes at the sight of him. There are dark circles under his eyes, which are still half closed, and his hair is an even greater mess than usual. And he is so pale. If Phil thought before that Dan was pale, then he was wrong, because this was worse than a cheap Dracula in a children’s movie. He looked as though somebody had absorbed the entire colour from his face.  
“Hey” Phil just says, and hands him a cup of tea, because he looks like he needs it. “We have sport first lesson…”

Dan takes the tea wordlessly, and looks up at Phil standing in front of him. Phil expects any answer, ranging from ‘thank you’ to ‘what the fuck’, but instead Dan just stares at him.  
“I’m sorry about last night.” he breaths eventually, his voice breaking. Phil immediately breaks.  
“There’s nothing to be sorry for.” He rushes, and then, “If you want to talk-“  
“I’d rather not, no.” Dan states, and when he realises how harsh that sounds he throws Phil an apologetic look. “Thanks for the tea.”

With that, Dan disappears into the bathroom himself, and Phil just stands there in the middle of the room. _That boy is a puzzle._ He thinks, and shakes his head. He can’t blame Dan either though. Whatever went on inside his head must have been violent, judging by the way he kicked and yelled in his sleep that night.

Phil heads down to breakfast, sinks into a seat next to Chris and has some cereal, before he manages to speak up.  
“So, what’s your lesson plan for today?” he asks PJ, trying to act normal whist he is still trying to figure out what is wrong with Dan. He hardly gets what PJ starts talking about instantly, but nods and smiles once or twice, until his eyes catch on Dan who is now entering the hall, and walking towards the place next to PJ. Phil can’t help but wonder if Dan covered his circles, but when his roommate looks up, they are still there. “Didn’t sleep well” is the only explanation he gives their friends when they ask, and then he wordlessly eats his breakfast.

 

In sports, Phil learns a new thing about Dan: he is excellent at basketball. He also learns soon after this, that Dan absolutely sucks at everything else. That hardly matters though, because Coach keeps him behind after the lesson, and Phil knows that he will ask him to play for the team. He looks back, just to see that Chris, who also plays, throws a brotherly arm around Dan and welcomes him to the team, causing something unwelcome to stir inside his chest. He could hardly be jealous just because Dan played, or because they shared the same friends, could he? Anyways he continues to walk back, shower, and dress into his normal clothes. If Dan really goes to practise and plans to join the team, he won’t see him at lunch today.

Phil passes through a math test, break, and then heads through the crowded corridor to English. He isn’t exactly looking forward to it, and that is strange because he usually does. When he gets there, Dan is already in his seat. They don’t look at each other, and Phil’s heart begins to sink.

After ten minutes of silence, with Phil writing and Dan drawing, Phil opens his mouth. He doesn’t look up when he speaks.  
“Are you planning on joining the team?” He asks, casually, concentrating on his work. It takes Dan a few moments before he answers.  
“My father would have been proud.” He stops, as if he said too much and adds something else quickly. “I like Basketball but… there’s an art class on Fridays after school, when they have training, so I don’t think I’ll join.”

The comment about Dan’s father bugs him, but Dan hasn’t spoken of his family yet, or anything personal really, so he doesn’t force it.  
“There is an art class on Mondays too.” Phil tells him. “I think you should. Play, I mean. You’re really good.” He finally looks up to face his roommate. “And besides, I’d watch all of your games” he adds, a bit quieter, and grins. Not that that would change anything, but Phil thinks it might be something kind to say. And he would watch them; it isn’t just something he says.  
“Maybe I will, then” Dan claims, in the same tone, and grins at Phil too, causing some kind of fluttering inside him. He ignores it, of course. But it is there, and Phil is glad that Things are normal again. (As far as normal goes)

They continue to work in silence for another twenty minutes, before Phil stops entirely and just watched Dan draw. There is something relaxing about the way his pencil moves over a bit of scrap paper, sketching a Labrador. It’s damn amazing, Phil has to admit, and anyone could see it’s a Labrador from miles away.  
“Do you have one?” He asks, and Dan only realises he is watching at that moment.  
“My Uncle does.” Dan answers, and smiles, probably at a memory only he and the Dog share.

For the rest of the day, Phil thinks about Dan and a dog (He can imagine it quite well), running over a field, or perhaps Dan throwing a Frisbee. After a while, the girl- his cousin, appears in his head too, sitting on a picnic blanket, with sandwiches and coke, watching them. But then Phil remembers Dan’s nightmare, and suddenly the idea of a dog and a picnic are far too happy to match with Dan and his dark clothing.


End file.
